Happy Birthday to me!

Can't believe it's my birthday. My first one as a person living with cancer. Will it also be my last? 

I used to love birthdays. But now, birthdays are kind of bittersweet. I am glad to celebrate another birthday, but also feeling sad that it might be the last one I will ever have.

What do I wish for my birthday? There are a lot of things I want that can easily be bought. But the ones I truly want - the ones that really matter, sadly are out of reach.

1. I wish that a cure for all cancers will finally be available to the people who need it

2. I wish that my family, the people that I love will have true happiness. I wish that the unspoken sadness and despair I see in their eyes will be gone.

3. I wish I get to celebrate a few more birthdays, and that this won't be my last one.

4. I wish there is no suffering. However, "without suffering there can be no compassion" ( I heard this in a movie but can't remember which one). But why, oh why do we have to suffer? Why is there so much burden to bear? When will it ever end? What will the world be like without suffering? 

5. I wish love will prevail. I think love is the answer to everything. You see, if there's love in everyone's hearts, there is no crime, there is no greed, no selfishness, no oppression, no corruption, no injustice... and of course, no suffering. And what is love? God is love. God is the answer.

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, because GOD IS LOVE. By this the love of God is revealed in us: that God has sent his one and only Son into the world so that we may live through him."
-1 John 4:7-8

Can't write anymore... I can feel the tears. Here they come.